Ground Zero

from Beautiful Not Broken [Deluxe Edition] by Gospel Lee

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lyrics

This is ground zero welcome to my struggle / Finding pieces of my life as I'm sifting through rubble / Used to have a life, but that's hard to remember / 'Cuz that light's just a flicker atop some once warm embers / 5th of November date that I was separated / Diagnosis segregated, I was truly isolated / From everything and everyone the inside looking out / Not that I don't want to talk, we just got nothing to talk about / And when I find the words the tears start over / Tear stained hopes hopin' the worst parts over / Eyes rain every day and the rain gets colder / Waiting for the sun but get the sun's cold shoulder / Low laying clouds over me they seem to loom / With no silver linings, no chance of clearing soon / Tiny splinter in my mind, and I can't seem to get it / Even though it's in the back, it won't let me forget it / Think of it when the T.V's on and in every commercial break / Think of it when I feed my dog and even on the walks we take / My focus is diminished, attention span's abrupt / Can't hold a conversation, 'cuz my thoughts just interrupt / And worse than that's the treatment, you can't begin to describe it / Except it's so intense you wonder if you will survive it / It will drive you to your limits and push you even farther / Ten times harder than swimming in arctic waters / Overbearing, overwhelming, it's taxing and it' draining / Supposed to make you better but the pain is still remaining / In a variety of forms, the sickness comes next / Is this because of the disease or could it be the side effects / Say "hold on, don't give up" wishing it was that simple / I'm on the front line, but the war is all mental / There's little fight left, and I'm running out of weapons / Running out of options, running out of seconds / Cant bear another option that just brings little change / Spent all of my emotion, can't spare a little change / All this sacrifice and suffering to still just stay the same / Hard to hold it all together, even harder staying sane