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Who I Am

by gospel lee

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Youngin', 16, influenced by what he seen/wanna be like rappers on the TV screen/ paid close attention & they sold him a dream/made him watch the throne told him he could be a king In the lab like some white mice makin' sure his flow's tight/he can't feel anything until it starts to feel right/put his heart in it for a need from respect/pride kicked in from a need to be the best Hunger did the rest, pushed him up the ladder/Phantom & the Maybach made him climb faster/samplin' success more than a sip or a savor/did it on his own, yeah he was his own savior Got a little fame now it's nationwide acclaim/tourin' on a plane plus the pilot know his name/gold gramophones stacked up, five mics racked up/ askin where the game is they say he got it packed up The dream collapses outa nowhere all the sudden/thought he held the life he wanted, he was holdin' onto nothin/thought he's breakin' ground, he was just diggin a grave/they said he was the king he was just another slave Not what he signed up for, this is not how he had pictured it/the more he has, the more he needs, the more he's gettin' sick of it/in too deep now, too far to cut his losses/poured his life into this dream and lost his soul in the process HOOK: And when it's over, you can't turn it back/time in-between yeah, you can't repeat that/ two ways this is playin' out, only one decision/ and either way you choose it's a suicide mission Youngin', 16, influenced by what he seen/life sacrificed just so he could be redeemed/made the crossover and be joined a different team/grabbed a pen, grabbed a mic, started speakin' for the king Message so powerful it'll rock you where you stand /message so simple anyone could understand/ spoke of hope and love from the one who gave breath/ spoke it to the masses gave life and stopped death The words turned to seeds, got planted into hearts/ told 'em they could do it over, they could have a fresh start/He rocked it with emotion so the heads called it art/it simply brought together what had grown so far apart Sharpens on his craft, improves on his skill /not to be the greatest, not just so you'll think he's ill/he understands the message should never lack excellence/cuz if that part is missing then the message misses relevance/ Never know the magnitude of all the lives he touched/the eyes he opened up to see the world was not enough/found significance and calling in the life of his maker/gave his life up so he could look like someone greater HOOK No return for either of 'em once they met the the reaper/realized their time was borrowed when they met the time keeper/on the porch with death they sit drinking lemonade/see the chain reactions of the choices that they made One became a legend, survived by cash and possessions/thought his money answered all but had him askin' more questions/all his fans forget him cuz their on to the next one/cookie cutter rapper gets recycled when his life's done Other chose a different route and walked it in obscurity/chose the Father instead of cash to cure his insecurity/when his life was over anyone could plainly see/God standin' there where a boy used to be One left behind a legacy of changed hearts and lives/the other fit into a mold same raps and change the lies/see 'em both in your decisions, struggles that you go through/both their lives end but only one like its supposed to HOOK
This is Tuesday August 28th 1984/and 40 months later dad's exit out the front door/it's where she drew the line, he wouldn't hit her anymore/it's food stamps & welfare, the poorest of the poor You 'll never make it and you won't last long/this is the fight she found so she could prove him wrong/night jobs & nursing school to feed me & my brother/this tha strength of my mother that astounded all the others It's elemental middle school circa 1990/picked last, back of the class is where you'll find me/awkward, immature in the corner always crying/never seemed to fit in, though I was always trying Best friend in highschool, closest no exception/last name "by everyone" first name "rejection"/hate myself so much, wish moms had used the contraception/All State & Who's Who just to gain acceptance And when I thought I had it, is when it slipped away/So now I'm searching for it, in words that others say/and thoughts that others think, it really wasn't useful/I became addicted high off of their approval I don't think I have a problem & I think I'm fine/but when I'm searching for fulfillment never seem to find/peace and good news I always seem to boast about/but when the mask is off it seems that I can live without This is a human being brutally honest/about the pain, growth, & progress of the pain & growth process/it's a few wins, but it's more losses/funny how I pictured it, call me negrodamus This is older now healed wounds & picked scabs/decorated vet bruised cheeks and some back stabs/what didn't kill me & anything that nearly did/it's love and love lost and & all the love I have to give HOOK: This is who I am nothin more nothin less/I am at my worst, I AM at His best This is a different outlook, a different point of view/behind the scenes take of everything I went through/this is you steppin' in when my dad stepped out/with you as my Step-Dad the hope never ran out You had a lot of names, moms called you Jireh/so in the midst of poverty we knew you as provider/& this was the strength that you bottled up inside her/water in her veins when she walked thorough the fire Everyday at school you sat right beside me/picked me for your team when other kids didn't like me/before me it seems my rejection knew you first/only way that you could understand this hurt/ Reason why words from others simply wouldn't do/cuz what I sought from them are words I should have got from you/when I was fiendin' for their choice I should have thought of you/chose me for who I was and not just for what I could do Never coulda earned it with all my awards/my works wouldn't work 'cuz I couldn't work towards/the love you freely gave something I couldn't work for/so trying to achieve it wouldn't work anymore You were my Betty Ford, you broke my addiction/put me on the real so I could kill the contradiction/nurtured in my growth, healed me in my pain/and you allowed it all so I could never be the same HOOK This is peace in the midst of everything gone wrong/This is letting go, this is holding on/this is in your timing when I'm asking how long/my soul being restored this is my 23rd Psalm The most perfect picture of imperfection/framed with Devine affection from a heavenly obsession/kingdom now within my reach that my mind has changed direction/eyes to see, and ears to hear now I have your perception Demise of my pride, and birth of humility/daily death sentence so this is me killing me/every last ounce of me till there's nothing left/when only you remain that's when it's life after death This is my relationship an upgrade from religion/this is how you showed me love was commitment and decision/this is when I'm at my worst drowning in distress/this is when your hard at work, this is when you shine the best HOOK
Turn them captions off been silent for too long/my message got a voice much louder than any song/it's loud enough to wake you up from that dream/and bright enough to make all them hidden things seen Show you the whole picture 1080p clear/His high death could change your life right now right here/this is the end of fear, the start of something more/this is who you've always been to who you've never been before The master's reset, greatest of all restarts/total transformation no deceptions or all-sparks/just some new hearts, like the Tin man/little engine mindset, 'cuz now you think you can And now you understand, that you've been accepted/this ain't the ivy league, you'll never be rejected/my message is redemption, peace, hope & restoration/truest form of love best expressed by salvation HOOK: I'm crazy 'bout this music, I'm obsessed with this message/I'll take it everywhere I'm pullin souls from the wreckage/& you can call me wreck less, my life comes 2nd/Ill scream it from my lungs till the very last second (on this shotclock hustle till the very last second) I'm on borrowed time down to the last minute/started in '84, I don't know when it's ending/know everyday I'm closer than I was the day before/importance of my message is now urgent all the more Cuz they unaware their next could be their last breath/they walk that green mile and dont know till they last step/so I'm steppin out, give me the ball/shot clock hustle like Durantualla Ima win 'em all 'Cuz I came to ball-lights out/shine while I do it, till my lights out/& I'm not alone, got a team with me/check my coaches record, now who could stand against me They can't shut me up/I'll never go away/they can take my life/but love transcends the grave/they can't shut me down/I'll never run away/they can surely try/this love is here to stay Only got one shot after that no turning back/every single moment of my life can't get it back/don't wanna hear a message wanna see what my life's about/so I make it count by the way I live my life out Gotta get this word out put it on me/gotta get it out now tomorrows no guarantee/so my life on 10 I'm disturbing the peace/'cuz I gotta let 'em know it's an emergency Message can't wait, I'll take the message to the streets/see me live it everyday hear me speak it on the beat/'cuz I gotta tell 'em how to cure the pain and the strife/God Our Sins Paying Eternal Life It's the Gospel the Gospel you know just what it is/the Gospel the Gospel get it where you live/I'm the Gospel the Gospel I'll show you what it is/The Gospel the Gospel, I'll bring it where you live HOOK: Im on that shotclock hustle/he on that shotclock hustle/she on that shotclock hustle/we on that shotclock hustle cuz it's Grace through Faith
It's 2012, I stepped out 11/Yeah I fought hell, now watch me bring Heaven/I watch 'em flee 7/ways when I come through/They tried to hold me down/I had to break through Wasn't an easy road-no asphalt/Most of them struggles last year, I was at fault/You never left me though/You saw my heart to grow/I asked forgiveness, you forgot like "what you askin' for" Wish I could say that was the only time/that I ain't do somethin foolish and just cross the line/Im like the 99 'cept I'm the opposite/Never in the sheep fold I'm always hoppin' it But when I called Your name/Yeah You always came/Grace and blood washed me clean 'till no sin remained/You couldn't find a stain-yeah that's what love did/You gave your best for me-but that's how love gives So you can save your judgement I'm a new creation/My past has passed away so keep your condemnation/He gave me strength to stand, Ive got the strength to fight/Made sure I lost these bags before I took flight HOOK We gon rise above (X4) Ima rise abouve You gon rise above We gon rise above We gon rise above I had my feet set & my mind right/ had no idea my walk would soon become a fight/My reflection was my greatest enemy/Self destructive habits I was into almost ended me Envy, lust, greed, doubt, all were at the root of it/Death, pain and separation yeah that was the fruit of it/Friends I hung with they was choking all my life away/Tried to walk upright but they say you should walk another way And then the trials came like some flood rains/Took everything I had to stay afloat and maintain/And I had opposition like you ain't never seen/Your worst nightmares were my day dreams Then my eyes cleared-Ben Stein/You were by my side like the whole time/Showed me I overcame and wasn't overcome/I found asylum in the shadow of the Holy One Called me out my struggles and patiently loved me through it/Tests and trials you stood with me when I thought I couldn't do it/Your power put an end to all unhealthy friendships/Opposition obstacles are nothing now I'm limitless HOOK I was made for more so I'm letting go/Some things have to die so that some things can grow/So I tied him up then I lit the match/He's burning in my rearview but I ain't lookin' back I hear him crying out he might as well forget me/I'm huntin' Destiny and he ain't commin' with me/Plans for me to fail more than anybody else/I rise above him every single day I kill myself HOOK
God forgive me, this person I am it's not who I want to be/two very different people so much that it is hard to see/the overtaking of the latter upon the former/when it happens one day I'll be a modern day reformer I'm a modern day conformer on the roster suited up/but not makin plays like a modern day bench warmer/I'm like the scarecrow, no brain, in desperate need of a donor/'cuz I can't figure out this odseey like I was Homer God forgive me I'm in a coma need the aroma/of your love to kill this sin cancer like chemo to a melanoma/Am I alone or, are you really as close as they say/in your scriptures your one call away And it also say that you be stickin closer than a brother/what if I ain't got no brother/how am I supposed to discover/the truth that's so apparent but they've made it undercover/that your my greatest lover and you've loved me like no other God forgive me because I know I'm stressin you out/believe the message of the cross and still I struggle with doubt/and this complacency know its killing you/cuz its killing me/gasping for breath blind though I can clearly see God forgive me cuz I got all the time in the world/but when it comes to time for you I got more time for my girl/got more time for Facebook, more time for MTV/got more time to grab that high score on my 360 God forgive me these hands I've used to glorify your name/and the hands I've used to slap you in the face are the same/these hand I fold when I pray to/lift when I praise you/are the very same hands that stab your back and betray you God forgive me honestly you should love somebody else/been abused and rejected I don't even love myself/See these scars on my wrists, they're so I can feel alive/cuz there's not much left I'm still trying to survive God forgive me/do you forgive me/could you forgive me/would you forgive me I forgive you cuz my love you could never comprehend/Its deeper then depth has no origin or end/it's how All-Mighty God calls mankind friend/It's why I let my son die, it's how He came back again It's how red blood shed makes you whiter than snow/don't see just where you're at but sees all where you could go/don't see just who you are, but sees who you could become/a moon in this dark to reflect the light of my son your doubt and unbelief you can hand it all over/never stood a match against the love of Jehovah/never stood a chance like one versus three/was my love, grace, and patience versus your complacency I can make you brand new your bad could never be bad enough/my love restores all sob story isn't sad enough/you did it all right how would grace fit the equation/you have your gold stars why would you ever need salvation you can slap me in the face, I'll turn the other cheek/you stab me in the back, I still want you at my feet/'cuz I loved you way more than I could anything else/loved you enough to make you in the image of myself/you see these holes in my feet, they're so you could feel alive/I came so you could have life and not just merely survive 'cuz I loved you way more than I could anything else/loved you enough to make you in the image of myself/see this hole in my side, it's so you could feel alive/I came so you could have life and not just merely survive 'cuz I loved you way more than I could anything else/loved you enough to make you in the image of myself/see these holes in my hands, theyre so you can feel alive/I came so you could have life and not just merely survive


released August 28, 2012


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gospel lee Tulsa, Oklahoma

The Most Perfect Picture Of Imperfection.

Quality Hip-Hop For Imperfect People.

Bringing Light To Dark Places.

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