This Is (Who I AM)

by gospel lee

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The single from my forthcoming new EP "Who I Am" 08.28.12

lyrics

This is Tuesday August 28th 1984/and 40 months later dad's exit out the front door/it's where she drew the line, he wouldn't hit her anymore/it's food stamps & welfare, the poorest of the poor

You 'll never make it and you won't last long/this is the fight she found so she could prove him wrong/night jobs & nursing school to feed me & my brother/this tha strength of my mother that astounded all the others

It's elemental middle school circa 1990/picked last, back of the class is where you'll find me/awkward, immature in the corner always crying/never seemed to fit in, though I was always trying

Best friend in highschool, closest no exception/last name "by everyone" first name "rejection"/hate myself so much, wish moms had used the contraception/All State & Who's Who just to gain acceptance

And when I thought I had it, is when it slipped away/So now I'm searching for it, in words that others say/and thoughts that others think, it really wasn't useful/I became addicted high off of their approval

I don't think I have a problem & I think I'm fine/but when I'm searching for fulfillment never seem to find/peace and good news I always seem to boast about/but when the mask is off it seems that I can live without

This is a human being brutally honest/about the pain, growth, & progress of the pain & growth process/it's a few wins, but it's more losses/funny how I pictured it, call me negrodamus

This is older now healed wounds & picked scabs/decorated vet bruised cheeks and some back stabs/what didn't kill me & anything that nearly did/it's love and love lost and & all the love I have to give


HOOK:
This is who I am nothin more nothin less/I am at my worst, I AM at His best

This is a different outlook, a different point of view/behind the scenes take of everything I went through/this is you steppin' in when my dad stepped out/with you as my Step-Dad the hope never ran out

You had a lot of names, moms called you Jireh/so in the midst of poverty we knew you as provider/& this was the strength that you bottled up inside her/water in her veins when she walked thorough the fire

Everyday at school you sat right beside me/picked me for your team when other kids didn't like me/before me it seems my rejection knew you first/only way that you could understand this hurt/

Reason why words from others simply wouldn't do/cuz what I sought from them are words I should have got from you/when I was fiendin' for their choice I should have thought of you/chose me for who I was and not just for what I could do

Never coulda earned it with all my awards/my works wouldn't work 'cuz I couldn't work towards/the love you freely gave something I couldn't work for/so trying to achieve it wouldn't work anymore

You were my Betty Ford, you broke my addiction/put me on the real so I could kill the contradiction/nurtured in my growth, healed me in my pain/and you allowed it all so I could never be the same

HOOK


This is peace in the midst of everything gone wrong/This is letting go, this is holding on/this is in your timing when I'm asking how long/my soul being restored this is my 23rd Psalm

The most perfect picture of imperfection/framed with Devine affection from a heavenly obsession/kingdom now within my reach that my mind has changed direction/eyes to see, and ears to hear now I have your perception

Demise of my pride, and birth of humility/daily death sentence so this is me killing me/every last ounce of me till there's nothing left/when only you remain that's when it's life after death

This is my relationship an upgrade from religion/this is how you showed me love was commitment and decision/this is when I'm at my worst drowning in distress/this is when your hard at work, this is when you shine the best

HOOK

credits

released August 21, 2012
track by @prodbyBMII

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gospel lee Phoenix, Arizona

The Most Perfect Picture Of Imperfection.

Quality Hip-Hop For Imperfect People.

Bringing Light To Dark Places.

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